It’s fairly common to be unsatisfied with your current situation in life. Maybe you are happy with your relationship but your job is making you miserable. Maybe you just keep going in circles and you can’t seem to break out of your rut. Either way, change often takes time. However, it all begins with that first step, and here are a few first steps that will show a little bit of improvement immediately.

1.) Let go of the past. As wise Rafiki says in The Lion King, “Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the from way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it.” And even though our lives are not lived through animation, the lesson holds up just the same. The past is the past, and dwelling on it isn’t going to solve anything. Learn what you can from it and then let it go.  

2.) Cut out people that hurt you. If you have a relationship that is causing you grief, end it. Just because someone was your best friend in 4th grade or is related to you by blood does not mean you have to keep them in your life. The only people you should have time for are the ones that treat you with respect and dignity and support you when you need it.  

3.) Stand up for yourself. If you don’t stand up for yourself, who will? If you feel you are being disrespected in some way, say something. Allowing yourself to be a doormat certainly doesn’t feel good, and the second you stop being one you’ll realize how amazing it feels to be treated with respect.

4.) De-clutter your mind. Have something that’s weighing on your mind? Take care of it! Maybe it’s a huge presentation you feel unprepared for; stop putting it off and prepare for it! Maybe you are avoiding talking to your child’s math teacher for whatever reason; get over it and stop by the school after work! All of those tiny little to-do tasks add up, and it can cause you some serious stress. Bear down and take care of as many of them as you can and you’d be surprised at how amazing you feel knowing all of those little tasks are completed. 

5.) Appreciate how far you’ve come. Goals we set for ourselves often take a long time to achieve, so it’s completely understandable to feel frustrated about halfway through when you feel like you haven’t made any progress. Chances are though, you have made some progress, you just haven’t stopped to realize it yet. Do you have a goal to lose 20 pounds and you’ve lost 12 so far? Good for you, that’s a big deal! So take a second and think about what you’re trying to accomplish and how far you’ve come toward that particular goal

 
 
Ah yes, our passion. At times it can be so elusive, and vague comments from others (“Well, just pick something you like and do that.”) are virtually useless. So here are a few inspirational points that might help you get on the right path.

1.) Often people attempt to live their lives backwards.  They try to acquire more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier.  The way it actually works is the reverse.  You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.

2.) Don’t be normal.  Sadly, normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you financed, in order to get to the job that you don’t really like, but that you need, to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.

3.) If you are passionate about it, pursue it, no matter what anyone else thinks.  That’s how dreams are achieved.

4.) Live by choice, not by chance.  Make changes, not excuses.  Be motivated, not manipulated.  Work to excel, not compete.  Choose to listen to your inner voice, not the jumbled opinions of everyone else.

5.) When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin.  It works not because it settles the question for you, but because in that brief moment when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you are hoping for.

6.) It’s not about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance.  You’ll rarely be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work.  Sometimes you just have to go for it 

7.) Nothing you have that much passion for is ever a waste of time, no matter how it turns out in the long-term.

8.) Life is short.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

9.) A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.  This concept can be universally applied.

10.) There are people who live in a dream world and there are people who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.

11.) If you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.

12.) When we focus on leading a passionate, meaningful life, we are also inadvertently creating a spectacular ripple effect of inspiration in the lives around us.  When one person follows a dream, tries something new, or takes a daring leap, everyone nearby feels their passionate energy; and before too long, they are making their own daring leaps while simultaneously inspiring others.

 
 
How many times during the day do you think something to yourself? Probably more than you think. The truth is, you (yes, that person in the mirror) are the biggest influence on how your life turns out. And if we can’t change our thoughts, we very well can’t change our actions, now can we? So let’s make sure the following thoughts get shut down before they even start.

1.) I can’t/it’s too late/I’m not good enough/it doesn’t matter anyway/what’s the point. Yes, all of these excuses fall under the same category and all of them are collectively number one on this list for a reason. Don’t sell yourself short because your mental guestimate of your abilities is inaccurate. You are just as capable and deserving as anyone else, and it does matter or you wouldn’t be having this conversation with yourself right now. Your body is an amazing thing; if you want it to stand up, walk across the street and talk to the cute guy in the coffee shop it will do it. The only thing stopping you is your mind. 

2.) I don’t have time. Everyone thinks they don’t have time, but then something comes up and they end up making time. So make time now! Research has shown that the average person can find an extra six hours (six hours!!) in their day if they were to prioritize their tasks and work more efficiently.

3.) I’ll do it someday. Why someday? Putting it off until “someday” conveys the idea that you aren’t able to do it now, and why? Is there really something standing in your way? Right now, at this very moment, you are the oldest and wisest you have ever been, while at the same time being as young and able as you have ever been. Don’t waste time dedicating part of your life to “someday.” Do what makes you happy now.

4.) I could make a fool of myself. Yes, you could. You could also trip and fall walking through the grocery store, so do you stop going to the store? No! And the reason: because you’ve been to the store and not tripped and fell enough times that your mind doesn’t recognize it as a realistic threat. There are many opportunities to make a fool of yourself (many of them you are enormously overthinking), but if you avoided all of them you would be a hermit. Live a little bit and let yourself make mistakes. The fear of being a fool is not keeping you from being one; it’s keeping you from living, period.

5.) It didn’t work out the last time. Circumstances change and people learn, including you. If you let your past determine your future, your future is going to be an exact replica of your past.

6.) Well if so-and-so thinks it’s a good idea… Honestly, it doesn’t matter what so-and-so thinks! It matters what you think! Granted, everyone needs a little advice from someone else once in a while, but constantly needing someone else’s opinion causes you to forget to have one of your own. After all, if so-and-so has a different opinion than you, and you always go with their opinion, what’s the point in even having your own? Do what you want to do, regardless of what others may think. 

 
 
We’ve all been there. Whether it’s a bad relationship, a new venture or just a lifestyle, there are some things in life that just aren’t working anymore. Now it can be difficult to know when the time is right to walk away and try something new, so we’ve made it a bit easier on you. Here are five signs that it’s time to stop what you’re doing and move on.

1.) You’re going in circles. Have you ever heard Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity? Well here it is: “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” If you’ve already tried everything you can think of to make it work and are now trying things you’ve already tried, you need to stop. You’re going in circles and it’s time to move on. 

2.) You’ve already learned the lesson. Let’s say you’ve been in a horrible relationship for 2 years. Now let’s say you break up and move on to date an amazing person and you’re happy. You’ve learned your lesson about the bad relationship, right? Now if you had been in that bad relationship for four years instead of two would you have gained anymore wisdom? Probably not. Once you’ve learned the lesson there’s no point in hanging on. Now you’re just wasting time.

3.) You’re crossing lines you originally set for yourself. Whenever you start a new endeavor, there are always lines that are set. Maybe you don’t necessarily write them down, but they’re definitely there. Something like, “Well as long as he doesn’t cheat on me we can still work on things,” or “I’m going to run this business for six years, and if it isn’t gaining a profit by then I’ll be done.” These are good boundaries to have, but as soon as they are crossed, you’re just kidding yourself. If he cheats on you or it’s been seven years and the business still isn’t turning a profit, it’s time to cut your losses.

4.) You’re missing out on other opportunities. Here’s an easy way to look at it. If a chance for something comes along and you consider it a missed opportunity, than it probably is! Let’s say you’re a chef running your own restaurant. It’s not exactly pulling in a huge profit, but you’ve only been in business for a year. A café down the street offers you a great job and you turn it down. You’re happy with your decision. Now let’s say you’ve been a chef for five years at a failing restaurant and you’re offered the same café job. You turn it down again, but this time you wonder if you made the right decision.

In the first scenario, taking the job at the café would have meant you missed out on the opportunity to own your own restaurant. So you turned it down and continued on your path. But in the second scenario, you see turning down the job at the café was a missed opportunity to have a decent income, and you missed it. If you think you’re missing opportunities, it probably means you know longer see what you’re doing as the right choice.

5.) You’re unhappy. It’s as simple as that. If you’re unhappy in your situation (with your current job or a relationship) and you’ve tried everything to improve it (talked to your boss, been to relationship counseling) but nothing has worked and you’re still unhappy, you need to get out of that situation.